nobody talks to the family about the family environment. the school makes no attempt to change the school environment. nobody connects with these kids emotionally. in other words, it's seen simply as a medical or a behavioral problem, but not as a problem of development. >> gabor matÉ, you talk about acting out. what does acting out mean? >> well, it's a great question. you see, when we hear the phrase "acting out," we usually mean that a kid is behaving badly, that a child is being obstreperous, oppositional, violent, bullying, rude. that's because we don't know how to speak english anymore. the phrase "acting out" means you're portraying behavior that which you haven't got the words to say in language. in a game of charades, you have to act out, because you're not allowed to speak. if you landed in a country where nobody spoke your language and you were hungry, you would have to literally demonstrate your anger sorry, your hunger, through behavior, pointing to your mouth or to your empty belly, because you don't have the words. my point